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Domestic Violence or as a more accurate name for it should be Intimate Terrorism has many different forms.

A Survivor

Domestic Violence or as a more accurate name for it should be Intimate Terrorism has many different forms. Some of the most common are physical abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, isolation and stalking which all fall under the umbrella of Domestic Violence. This abuse and conditioning has lifetime effects on people. When you grow up with this type of abuse in your household you do not know that it is not in every house. It is just a normal part of life for way too many people. You know that something is off but not exactly sure what it is. You try to justify what is happening and downplay because you have been conditioned to believe that it is your fault or not really that bad, others have it so much worse. It was just a little push, just a little yelling-name calling, just a little misunderstanding, just a little roughness and force. You replay an episode over and over in your head trying to figure out what you did or how you can prevent it from happening again. Only to freeze when you hear the door open not knowing what version of evil is going to enter next. You are constantly walking on eggshells trying not to anger the monsters so that you won’t have to suffer more of their wrath. You do what you thought was best to shield your kids and protect them from knowing this side of evil only to end up realizing that they have seen and heard way more than you ever thought they did. If and when you are able to get away and begin to see things more clearly and label the abuse for what it is and take it for face value, you then realize what has happened to you has nothing to do with you but everything to do with the wicked desires of the predators. Trying to move on after a lifetime of this psychological warfare is an everyday battle. It is not just as easy as you leave, and everything gets better. Unfortunately for many it gets way worse, especially mentally, before it gets somewhat bearable. You have to fight every fiber of your being to push through what they made you believe is in fact not the true reality. You have to rewire your brain and relearn everything in life. As much as your brain is telling you that you can do it by yourself because it is your burden to carry and no one else’s, that is simply not true. You need to try to build a strong trusted support system around yourself. Only letting in a very few who can help you talk through your thoughts, who will call you out when needed and love you right where you are. Those that will be able to handle you at your worse when you believe you are unlovable and worthless and also celebrate with you the littlest victories. There will be highs and lows and once you think that you are truly over some of it the littlest things can bring you right back and that is where they can step in and remind you how far you have come and how unbelievable brave and strong you are. They will help show you that what was done to you is not who you are. You have the potential to do amazing things, it just takes time and a willingness to open up and talk about what has happened to you.

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