The youth referred to Xquisite come to our door with various traumatic experiences.
The primary reasons for their inclusion in our Xquisite family often stem from behaviors that, on the surface, appear delinquent in nature.
Consider with me what many of these kids have had to navigate in their brief time on earth.
It is not lost on me that the very ones who should be nurturing and empowering them toward success, are the ones that have propelled them into a path of destruction and delinquent behavior. No one in their world is championing them. The youth we serve have been abandoned physically and emotionally, feeling rejection from the ones who were supposed to love and protect them. Often a result of this isolation is they are thrust into a dark world of violence and abuse. They are kids. This should not be a part of their narrative.
I have no tolerance for violence, exploitation, or the psychological warfare inflicted on anyone. And when it comes to kids, my passion for such atrocities rises to a whole new level.
The statistic from the women and youth we serve screams loud in my heart, 97% have experienced violence and sexual exploitation starting at the age of three. A toddler!
That sets up the trajectory of a life forced to respond negatively when it truly is a cry for help, for someone to see them, value them, and believe their story, which to most of us seems unimaginable, but is their truth.
I want to cocoon these beautiful ones to give them a fighting chance to survive and give them the love and support they have never experienced. That cocoon often appears disconnected due to the complex ties that bind these vulnerable youth to those who neglect, exploit, and disregard their welfare.
We CAN offer them love and protection while they are with us, hoping they perceive the care we are intentionally providing.
We welcome everyone at our door when they take their first step into our center.
We tangibly express how much we see them, value them, and appreciate the beautiful person they are. Those moments are often the only expression of love and care they may truly experience, so while they are with us, they will know and feel what it could be like. We meet the need first whether it is a warm meal, personal items, or time to talk one on one, and then earn the trust to explore some options for resources.
We are passionate about providing a sense of belonging and family for them to experience.
But what happens when they must step back out our door and into an environment that is filled with violence or complete abandonment?
How does a child of 7 recover from watching their father nearly kill their mother in front of them? How does a child recover from finding their father hanging from a noose because of suicide and have to cut them down in an effort to save the father who was already gone? How does a child recover from being sexually assaulted and raped by family? How does a child understand that being sold for sex is not ok and then told they may get a small reward “if they do it right?” This is not what a child is supposed to endure. What level of mental health counseling would scratch the surface and get to the root cause? Even more daunting is the scarcity of mental health resources and trained professionals available in this field to help. Why are we ok with allowing this to happen? Can we see beyond the behavior and see the reason for the why?
This fuels my passion to become a part of the solution and actively work to end the atrocities that are ignored and allowed in many of these places our youth and adults are forced to call home.
We must be better. It must break our hearts.
We must look straight into the continual cycle of abhorrent violent and sexual behaviors and help them change their legacy. When kids experience this level of violence, they are left to figure out how to live with those nightmares, the psychological manipulation, and keep the atrocity that is a part of their ongoing landscape a secret – all alone. It is impossible to hold all this in without a powder keg explosion which comes in the form of either mirroring what they experienced or crying out for help in the form of delinquent behavior. When kids have experienced violence and rape at such an early age, it often becomes all they know, and it feels “normal” to them. Helping anyone understand that to be sexually violated and exploited is not ok when it is all they have ever known or how they have learned to survive is challenging, but not impossible. I am confident that sitting in that space and being the tangible love that God has for them is the best way to begin to bring freedom and restoration.
When a beautiful survivor tells me, “This is what HOME must feel like!” that warms my heart! While they are in our care that is what fuels me to see what is needed and do what we can to fill that need. We see the potential; We see their value and will fight for everyone of them to be a kid.
It is my passion to take the keys away from evil’s attempt to kill and destroy and provide a space for healing and freedom and the chance for hope and a successful future. The challenges our survivors face seem beyond their reach at times, but together I believe we can change the narrative of what was a horrific past into an incredible future and welcome them home.
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