Addiction Consumed Her

It was not her intent to die alone on a gas station bathroom floor, but her life’s choices led her to a life of addiction that enveloped her and ultimately consumed her. In her isolation, she left us with deep heartache as we deal with the absence of a beautiful life that mattered gone too soon.

She was my niece. Her eyes that sparkled when she smiled were infectious. Her adventurous spirit took her to places that bordered on excitement and destruction. Hers is not the story of a life that lacked anything financially or limited her potential. She was surrounded by love. She was a gymnast, she was creative, and she was a fighter. Somehow in her quest for adventure, her choices exposed her to a dark world that she was never raised to explore.

Addiction is an ugly monster whose talons dig deep and destroys life while masking as invincible until it leads you to the bathroom floor still making you believe it will not overtake you. Only God knows what the last moments of addiction brings, but I am confident that her struggle did not define who she truly was. Her addiction was not a reflection of her worth, it did morph into a debilitating and devastating illness, but it did not diminish the love we all had for her. She had two adorable girls that she lost when they were born, because she was not capable of being a mother to them and are being raised by family.

Mackenzie Lane Morgan was my beautiful niece and her life choices, caused her to remove herself from the family who loved her. To live a life consumed by her addiction and isolated. Still her life mattered. She was my brother’s daughter.

I have experienced moments with families that have had tragic outcomes. What has become very apparent to me is that we often spend a lot of effort focusing our energy on the ones who are debilitated by addiction and overlook the family suffering in silence. The trauma they live with should not be ignored.

Recently, I had the opportunity to see a mother. Her daughter’s destructive behavior for years was all consuming. This daughter has masterfully learned the art of manipulation and threatening intimidation. Her mother did everything she could to make sure her daughter received the best options for care, the focus was always on her and her daughter knew how to fuel the attention to revolve around her. It was not until this mom sat next to me in court, and grabbed my hand, not wanting to feel alone as I listened to the story unfold that her daughter had just tried to kill her with a box cutter, that I saw her. For the first time my focus shifted to see her, to see her as a victim of domestic violence at the hand of her own daughter. Seeing this mother in that light has radically impacted my heart to fight for her too, because she deserves the trauma informed care and resources I can extend to help her deal with the shock of the daughter, she raised nearly ending her life.

So often, the ones fighting tirelessly to surround their child or someone close to them, with help are left feeling alone, judged, and experiencing guilt. Sadly, this story is not an uncommon one. Can we look beyond the ones that consume attention from addiction, mental health issues, and destructive behaviors to see the families and people who care for them as victims? Can we embrace people who need unconditional love and support to help them navigate spaces they were never supposed to experience? Moments that shatter the narrative of what they dreamed could be into the heartbreak of the reality they are forced to live is daunting.

That moment in court, holding a mother’s hand letting her know that the attempted death threat she just experienced at the hand of her daughter, she was not alone, helped me see her. To see her, not the circumstance that brought us to court.

I see my brother too. I see our family. Addiction destroys. It distorts the truth and leaves us wrecked, with hearts that are broken and missing the beautiful life we loved. In times like these, there is no answer, there are no words, sometimes we just must be, perhaps to hold a hand and extend warmth in the middle of cold harsh unfair reality. But we can stop just for a moment and see the ones that are fighting so hard, hurting so deep, and feeling betrayed and see them.

No one should have to live afraid of their own child’s violence.

No one should have to hear their child died alone on the floor of a gas station bathroom.

No one should have to walk through these horrific experiences alone. Everyone should feel loved and valued. Every life matters. Our story will define us positively or negatively. A diamond is still a diamond with incredible potential and value, even as it's buried in the ground.

At Xquisite, we believe that no matter what life presents, their value remains strong, and we will fight for the one and we will fight for the ones that love them.