top of page

2AM

Who is your 2 AM call? The one who you reach out to when you feel like you are going to do something stupid or need to be reassured you are here for a reason, that someone cares, and you are loved/wanted? Let me guess you can think of one maybe two people but in all actuality, you are sitting there telling yourself you wish you could, because maybe you wouldn’t feel like your life is worth nothing, but you know you will never be able to reach out to anyone because it would be a sign of weakness or that you are a burden.


So, you will sit there and reread the string of text messages just wishing that someone picked up on the fact that you feel like you are so lost and are dying to talk to someone, anyone who will listen, but they don’t. So, you are left wondering why you can’t just tell them or simply ask for support. Would anyone even believe you cause stories like this are for dark plotted movies. Asking would mean that you need help and that is not something you are willing to admit even to yourself. You try so hard to hold everything in and bare the weight of it all so that no one will think differently of you, never wanting to be a bother to anyone, never wanting sympathy and certainly not pity or that you need to rely on anyone because really who can you rely on? Your whole life you have been told that you don’t matter or will never be enough to care about. You try to distract yourself with music, a book or anything but your mind keeps bringing you back to those horrible memories. You pray that morning will come fast so that you can just throw on the makeup and pretend another day that nothing is wrong. Knowing that it's going to end one way or another. Wishing you were able to just set it all down for even just a minute because it will still be where you left it when you come back. Not sure how to leave the past where it belongs. Wondering if your pain is the price of admission you have to pay to endure the stupid game called life. Wanting to explain to someone, to release it so maybe you can be loveable and live.


Xquisite is that place for many survivors like us to call and get help walking this hard and complicated life. Never being judged or looked down on for the life none of us chose to be a part of but were forced into. They are always there with an open hand and heart to show you that you do matter, and you are important!


That no matter how bad it is there is hope and a future for all of us.

19 views

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page